The American Card
by Trmpetplaya1
Summary: Wow. I didn't know I could write this bad. Oh well. Please read, Arigatou! Kerochan: Uh, you know, it's not very good to say that your fic is bad and then to ask them to read it, you know... TP1: oh, shut up! stupid stuffed animal...
1. The American Card

# The American Card

_ _

Yo! Ohayou! WASSSSSUUPPP! *hehe* Hey, Trmpetplaya1 here! I know, I know, the name reeks of unoriginality (meaning it's bad!) but I felt like writing a story about _______. 'What?' you ask? Hehehe. Read (onegai), 'cause I ain't telling you! ^_~

_Italics_ thoughts

"…" talking

DISCLAIMER: I don't own CCS, or Nelvana. And that's that!

"Sakura!" called Syaoran, running up to a disgruntled looking 13 yr-old.

"Yes?" she asked turning around as he skidded to a stop.

"Do you sense it?"

"Hai. But I thought…"

"Yeah, me too. *sigh* Guess we didn't capture all the cards after all."

"You did," came a new voice.

They both whipped around, to see a stuffed-animal looking creature floating in the air behind them.

"What do you mean, Kero? If we caught them all, then how come we sense a card?" asked Sakura.

"Well," Kero explained, "This isn't your average, ordinary Clow card…"

"Didn't know they still made those," grumbled Syaoran.

"*ahem* as I was saying," Kero began again, having a short glaring contest with Syaoran, "You captured all of the _Clow_ cards, but this is a different type of card, not made by Clow Reed. This is a card that has just been made, only about a year ago. Someone evil, with very strong magic made this card. It can only be made upon the death of a powerful sorcerer. You see, once one who possesses magic is about to leave this earth, they can leave some of their intent behind with a very complex spell; very few have succeeded at it. Apparently, this particular person knew about Clow cards and decided to make an evil one. Lately, it's been reeking havoc on America, but I'm guessing it sensed your magic and transported itself here to challenge you."

"Very right, um, _Kero-chan_," said a dark voice from the shadows, "My master created me before he died. His orders: to ruin kids' minds in America, and to defeat the Cardcaptors he hated so much."

The card smirked evilly as it stepped out of the shadows. It had the resemblance of a prominent businessman and wore a three-piece suit and tie.

Sakura gasped and Syaoran stood in front of her protectively.

"Why have you come here? Why didn't you just stay in America?" asked Sakura.

"Silly girl. To defeat you. My purpose in America was only to ruin their children's minds, and I have certain people taking care of that for me while I'm gone. Like the stuffed animal said (Kero: Hey!) I sensed your power and have come to fulfill my second and final mission: to destroy you and all of your little friends."

"Oh no you won't!" shouted Syaoran, "You're not hurting Sakura or anyone else! Not while I'm around!"

Sakura looked at him in awe, _Wow! He stood up for me! Hanyaan…_

"Well then," said the card, "We'll just have to fix that, won't we!"

He started to summon his power.

"Oh powers of all that are evil, I, the Nelvana Card, call upon you to release your evil intentions! Li Showron, RELEASE!" as he finished his incantation, a figure appeared in front of them, one that looked just like…

"_Syaoran?!?_" said the trio of good guys.

"No! This is your double, Li Showron, from America! He was created by my master to confuse kids' minds in America and all those who watch Cardcaptors, the dubbed version! He can do everything you can, but better! Watch! Li, show them what you're made of!"

The Li from America took a fighting stance and was answered with a duplicate one from Syaoran. The two fought for what seemed like hours, with the same abilities and attacks. In fact, you couldn't tell one from the other, they were just a blur of green, fighting furiously.

Sakura and Kero looked back and forth, unable to distinguish between the two.As they were watching, the Nelvana Card (yes, named after the company!) smirked again and began summoning.

"…release your evil intentions! Ki-EE-ro! RELEASE!" he cried and a look-a-like of Kero appeared.

"HUH?!" yelled the befuddled guardian of the Clow, "What's going on?"

"I'm your double, Kero," said Ki-EE-ro, with his weird New York/Bronx or whatever it is accent.

Kero transformed into his original form, only to be followed by Ki-EE-ro. Both began fighting, until, like Li and Syaoran, you couldn't distinguish between the two.

"Why are you doing this?" asked Sakura, "These horrible American names! I can't take it anymore!!!"

The Nelvana Card just laughed.

"Oh, Cherry Blossom, you haven't begun to see my power. Sa-KOO-ra! RELEASE!"

"AHHHH!!" yelled Sakura, as her double appeared in front of them.

"Ha! I'm the mighty Sa-KOO-ra, and you are mine!" she lunged at Sakura, who doged expertly.

"Syaoran! Kero! Let's go! It's to strong for us!" yelled Sakura as she struggled with Sa-KOO-ra.

They fought free of their evil American doubles, and followed Sakura back to her house.

"Ha!" said the Nelvana Card, with his American dubbed versions on the sides of him, "you can run, but you can't hide! And when I find you, you'll be destroyed."

Sa-KOO-ra, Li and Ki-EE-ro laughed along with the horrible card as they watched their fleeing doubles, then vanished into the night.

^^^^^^^^^^^

AN-

Well? Comments? *crickets chirping* Anybody? Oh well. I know, it was pretty bad. I was inspired by (insert author's name here) after reading their story about Sa-KOO-ra and how she messed up everything or whatever. Gomen about using your character's name. If you have any problems or anything with that, e-mail me and I'll change the name ([trmpetgrl1@icqmail.com][1]). Well, it _WAS_ supposed to be funny, but I guess that'll happen in the next chapter. Oh, and about my _To Leave Me…_ series: I can't seem to write anything depressing anymore! I'm too happy for that story. Maybe if one of you ff.net authors were to write something depressing, I'd be inspired and write!

Kero-chan: Or maybe not!

Trmpetplaya1: Well, do you have any better suggestions?!

Kero-chan: No, but maybe the audience does.

TP1: Hmm, good idea. Arigatou!

Kero-chan: Don't mention it!

TP1: Don't worry, I won't…

Anyway, if you have any ideas about how to cure my writer's block, e-mail me, ONEGAI! Arigatou! Well, gotta jet! Next chap soon (and maybe the same for TLM…) Bai-Bai!

Translations

Ohayou-hi

Hai-yes

Hanyaan-a happy, contented, lovey-dovey sigh

Arigatou-thank you

Gomen-sorry

Onegai-please

Bai-Bai-bye-bye

S+S4eva!! ^_~

   [1]: mailto:trmpetgrl1@icqmail.com



	2. The American Card~Part Two

# The American Card: Part 2

WAAAASSSSSSSSSUUUUUPPPPPPP my homies!!!!!! Hehe. If any of my friends from school saw me doing that, they'd stroke! Hehehe….anywayz, zup? (that means "what is up?" for all those, eeto, less, uh, _educated_ in, err, teenage slang. ^_^() ) I'm GREAT!! 3-day weekend!!! YESSSS!!! And no homework! ^_^ Well, here's the 2nd part to my weird, twisted story (though not nearly as weird as _Read At Your Own Risk_, a few people asked me if I had psychological problems or something….) and I hope y'all like it! (*sigh* there goes my Texas accent…again…..-_-() ) ^_^

_Italics_ thoughts

"…" talking

^^^^^^ scene change

DISCLAIMER: No I don't own CCS, no you can't sue me, and yes, I have a crush on Syaoran! (whoops, did I say that last part outloud? Heh heh heh….^_^() )

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"What do you mean, you can't show it at 9:00?!?" yelled an angry, stressed voice, "More children watch TV at 9, idiot! What?! Fine! I guess I'll have to settle with 8:30…What? Yeah, reruns on 'fraterday' or whatever it's called…fine, anymore trouble, and just call me, got it?"

He hung up the phone without even saying goodbye, muttering _stupid WB, why did I ever work with them anyway? Can't even get Cardcaptors on at a decent time._

"Master Nelvana?" came a voice from the kitchen of a nice apartment, "Do you want your coffee now?"

"Why, yes, Sa-KOO-ra, thank you."

She came into the room with a cup of black coffee, and handed it to her master.

"Ahhh, black. Just the way I like it. Can't stand all this tea junk in Japan."

As he finished his coffee, he summoned Sa-KOO-ra back in the room, muttered something under his breath, and she vanished.Before he went up to bed, he looked out the window to a perfect view of a sunset in Tomeda.

"I know you're out there, cardcaptors, you can't hide from the powers of Nelvana!" he then laughed evilly, and exited the room.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# Beep Beep Beep!!

"AHHHHHH!!!! KERO-CHANNNNN!!" yelled a teenage girl, sitting up in bed, "Why didn't you wake me up?!! I'm late!!"

She dashed out of bed, turned of her alarm, and began dressing frantically.

"*yawn* Well, it's not my fault, Sakura," said a stuffed animal looking creature, stretching, "_I'm_ not the one who has to go to school."

"So?" she said, brushing her hair in a hurry, "you're still responsible! AH! Gottagobyei'llbringyousomethingtoeatlater!!!"

Sakura ran out of her room and down the stairs.

"Oh, look, the kaijuu's up! And I was hoping she'd stay in bed forever," said Touya, her brother, pretending to look disappointed.

"Grr…'nii-chan!" she stomped on his foot, causing him to jump up and down in pain.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!"

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm late! Ja ne, onii-chan, otou-san!!"

Sakura rushed out the door on her roller blades.

"Hey! Wait up!" Touya jumped on his bike, and followed her to their school.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Kero-chan? What baka person ever invented school?" asked Sakura, stretching out on her bed.She'd had another bad day at school, especially in math.

"I dunno, Sakura, maybe they liked torturing young kids with incomprehensible knowledge and mountains of homework."

She rolled her eyes.

"_Kero-chan._"

"What?"

"*sigh* never…" she stopped, "Kero-chan? I think I sense something."

"What? Is it that annoying Nelvana Card again?"

"Wait…I think so, lemme call Tomoyo."

She picked up the phone and started dialing.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

About an hour later, they met, Sakura, Kero, Tomoyo, and Syaoran, (AN-Meiling's back in Hong Kong.) at the east side of the city.Sakura was donned in Tomoyo's latest creation: a leather jacket over a black, sleeveless crop top, and baggy leather pants, topped off with the essential sunglasses, and boots.Syaoran was, of course, wearing his usual getup.

"Wow, I didn't know there were so many big houses over here!" remarked Sakura, looking up at the mansion before them.

"Yeah, most of my mom's friends live over here. You should see the insides of some of these houses," said Tomoyo.

"Well, if you girls are done sightseeing," said Syaoran, clearing his throat, "I believe we have a certain card to capture?"

"Oh, yeah, ^_^()" said Sakura, blushing.

"I can sense it…it's over there!" she said, pointing to the large country club, "C'mon!"

The group ran (flew) over towards where the aura was coming from.They didn't have to look for it long, because, right in the middle of the golf course, stood the Nelvana Card.

"Well, well, well! Took you long enough. I've been standing here for nearly an hour," he faked a yawn, "Well, now that you're here, might as well get started. Li Showron! RELEASE!"

The Syaoran look-a-like materialized before them, just as before. He once more took a fighting stance, and was again challenged by Syaoran. The two circled each other, then attacked.

While they were battling it out, the Nelvana Card turned towards Kero.

"Okay, stuffed animal. It's your turn. Ki-EE-ro! RELEASE!"

Another Kero appeared, transformed, then attacked his Japanese twin.Soon, the two were also battling intensely.

"Ha! And there's more where that came from! Madison! RELEASE!"

"Hoe?" Sakura looked puzzled, "Madison? Who's she?"

She was soon answered as a perfect match for Tomoyo stood before her.

"Prepare to meet your match, _Tomoyo-chan_! AHHH!!" Madison lunged at Tomoyo with her video camera, ready to strike.

"AHHH!!!" Tomoyo ran, screaming, away from Madison.

"Ha! I'm your worst nightmare! I take the most horrible footage that you've ever seen, and say the corniest lines in the world! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" yelled Madison, making her double scream, and cover her ears in agony.

"NOOO!!! YAMATTTTEEEEEEE!!!!! I can't take it anymore!!" she ran across the golf course, closely followed by Madison.

"Well, since all your little friends are taken care of, it's your turn, Kinomoto! Sa-KOO-ra! RELEASE!!"

Sakura's double appeared, looking very supreme and bratty.

"Ha! I can do anything you can, but way better! Like, I can do 360's like it's nobody's business! _And,_ I can whine better than anyone in the whole entire world!! So watch your back! WINDY!" Sa-KOO-ra released what appeared to be a Clow card, yet wasn't. Windy looked evil, not at all like the real one.

"AHH!! You are horrible!" yelled Sakura, "Well, you wanna play battle, huh? SHIELD!"

A protective bubble surrounded her, protecting her from the powerful whirlwind produced by the evil Windy.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It had been an hour, and they were still fighting.Syaoran and Li Showron were sword fighting, now, Kero and Ki-EE-ro were all scratched up, but still delivering fireballs at each other, and Tomoyo and Madison were all beat up from a cat fight, but now having a glaring contest.The only ones who didn't seem to be tiring at all were Sakura and Sa-KOO-ra, they were still dishing out cards, waiting for the other to tire.

"EARTHY!" yelled Sakura.

"AHH! JUMP!!" Sa-KOO-ra got away just in time to avoid being squashed.

_How am I going to beat me? _thought Sakura, _wait! I've got it!_

"YAMATTE!!!" yelled Sakura.

Everyone was so surprised, that they forgot about fighting, and turned to face Sakura.

"Syaoran! Can you do a little time altering?"

He looked confused, but then caught on.

"TIME!"

Everything around them stopped, except for himself, Sakura, Tomoyo, and Kero.

"What is it, Sakura?" asked Kero.

"I've figured out how we can beat them! Listen, we can't keep fighting ourselves, because they're just as strong as us and know all of our moves. But here's what we can do. We can switch people! Kero-chan, you take Madison, or whatever her name is, Tomoyo, you take on Ki-EE-ro, Syaoran, you take on Sa-KOO-ra, and I'll handle Li Showron. Got it?"

They all nodded determinedly, then Syaoran called back his card.

"What? How'd they get over there?" said a shocked Nelvana Card, "GET THEM!!"

All four doubles ran over to where the good guys were, and got into their fighting stances.Much to their surprise, it was not their twins fighting them, however, it was someone totally different, whose skills they were unprepared for.

"Ha! Take that, you little poor excuse for a twin!" yelled Tomoyo, hitting Ki-EE-ro (in stuffed animal form now) over the head with her video camera, "I bet you look horrible in a costume, too!"

"AHHH!! Watch the hair, you annoying stuffed animal! AHHHH!!" Madison screamed, as Kero (also in stuffed animal form) pulled mercilessly on her long hair.

"I've got you now! _Syaoran_!" said Sa-KOO-ra, wand raised.

"Wanna bet?" challenged Syaoran, "DASH!"

He went from one spot to the next, taunting her to catch up with him, until she grew dizzy and fell down.

"FREEZE!" yelled Li Showron.

"FIREY!" came Sakura's reply.

The ice melted before it even got near Sakura.

"Ha! You think you can beat us still, Nelvana Card?" she said.

The Nelvana Card looked at his creations: Ki-EE-ro lying on the ground with a huge bump on his head, Madison sobbing in pain and clutching her hair, Sa-KOO-ra's eyes were twirling around, and Li Showron looked terrified at the sight of Sakura.

He knew he was beaten, but wouldn't go down without one last challenge.

"So, you've beaten me. I'm impressed, well done. But there's one thing you need to know before you capture me," he smiled evilly at this, "As you know, my first task was to destroy children's minds in America. Well, I've done that by showing horribly dubbed Cardcaptors' shows in America, every Friday and Saturday, and there's nothing you can do about it! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ugh! I've had enough of this creep!" said Sakura, "Nelvana Card, return to your power confined! NELVANA!"

Still laughing, the card and his creations were swept into a card, bearing the name Nelvana at the bottom.

"Whew! I'm glad that's over! C'mon guys, let's go home," she said, linking arms with Tomoyo, and, to his surprise, Syaoran's. And they lived happily ever after.

Or did they?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"And now, coming straight from Japan, it's CARDCAPTORS!!" yelled the announcer on TV in Sakura's cousin's living room in America.

"NOOO!!!!"

THE END

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

AN-

Trmpetplaya1 here! So? Did ya like it? I told you it was going to be funnier in the end!

Kero-chan: You call that funny? What are you, nuts?

Trmpetplaya1: Did anyone ask you?! *Syaoran death glare*

Kero-chan: *sarcastically* Oh, no, oh great TP1-sama, how dare I speak out of turn. _Gomen_, your highness.

TP1: That's much better.

Kero-chan: Grr…

Anyway, I liked it. Esp. the ending, hehehe. I love putting them through such torture. Naw, J/K! I just included it b/c it didn't seem right to not have that happen, ya know? Oh well, I had fun writing it, and I hope you have fun reading it. Oh, and if you wanna read a really funny poem, it's called _Ready_ and I'm putting it up under original poetry (you can get it at my author profile: Trmpetplaya1).And I wouldn't say no to e-mails, either. ^_^ Onegai? Por favor? Pwetty pease? With Syaoran on top? (Syaoran: HEY!!) Hehe. Ja ne!

Trmpetplaya1 ([trmpetgrl1@icqmail.com][1]) ^_^

Translations

Eeto-err

Onii-chan/'nii-chan-brother

Otou-san-father

Kaijuu-monster (Touya always calls Sakura that)

Ja ne-bye

Baka-stupid/idiot

Hoe-Sakura's fav. expression; can mean basically anything

Yamatte-stop

Gomen-I'm sorry

-sama-suffix meaning 'master' or something like that

Onegai-please

Por favor-Spanish for 'please'

S+S4eva!!!!!! ^_~

   [1]: mailto:trmpetgrl1@icqmail.com



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